The Passion

So i'm going to see the much debated The Passion of Christ tonight. I've never not wanted to go see a movie so much and yet wanted to see a movie at the same time. It's an odd sensation. Does that make sense to anyone?

Things I Like...

Inspired by Andy i thought i would write up my own list of things i like. Note: these are not in any particular order...

1. WEEKENDS!!
2. sunsets
3. campfires
4. going on hikes
5. camping
6. the feel of getting clean and in warm clothes after a day at the beach
7. swimming
8. meaningful chats w/ friends
9. people who are real and honest
10. people who challenge me in my faith
11. people who are on fire for God
12. calvin and hobbes (i concur andy :))
13. snuggling up with a good book (NOT homework...)
14. lying down on a 'sun spot' in the middle of the living room floor during a cold day in the winter
15. the smell of spring
16. watching the sky (day, night, whenever...)
17. being outside
18. classes that make me think
19. not thinking once in awhile (otherwise known as vegging :))
20. my bed
21. fresh pineapple (mmmm...)
22. hugs from my dad
23. hugs from my mom
24. hugs from my friends
25. hugs :)
26. a good laugh that makes your tummy ache :)
27. good jokes
28. people who know how to make me laugh
29. people who know when i need to be serious
30. people who know when i just need to be alone
31. babies
32. toddlers
33. kids :)
34. fun underwear :)
35. ice-cream (any type, any time, anywhere... it's THAT good :))
36. DQ ice-cream cakes
37. decorating cakes (i am a former DQ worker after all... :))
38. doing crafts
39. doodling
40. playing the piano (anything but royal conservatory!!)
41. listening to other people share their talents
42. listening to the violin
43. listening to the guitar
44. listening to music in general
45. water-skiing
46. attempting slalom on a waterski (note the word 'attempt')
47. fireworks
48. playing sports for fun (especially beach volleyball and soccer...)
49. singing songs
50. staying up with my roomie from first year till 3:00 in the morning discussing boys, faith and baptism :) (not necessarily in that order :))
51. feeling rested
52. pancakes and sausages on saturday mornings made by my mom or dad (my dad makes the best 'dutch' styled pancakes.. yumm...)
53. roast beef and potatoes
54. Sunday morning breakfast with my family
55. getting together with my extended family
56. being weird around my friends
57. having one of those intensely peaceful moments with God when you can feel so amazing no matter what things are going on around you
58. wise people
59. humble people
60. a good back massage
61. worship
62. kicking sandals off as far as you can (perferably not getting them stuck in any trees... :))
63. going barefoot
64. chocolate (lindors.. mmm :))
65. warm showers
66. country music :)
67. christian bands
68. going canoeing
69. jumping off cliffs (into water.. no worries people :))
70. lying in bed on a saturday morning in the early summer while the breeze filters in and you know that you don't HAVE to get up for anything...
71. knowing that God is faithful
72. having 'friendly' debates and discussions with my friends about church doctrine while cleaning :) (note: the cleaning part can be ommitted w/o ruining it's appeal ;)...)
73. playing settlers
74. winning settlers :)
75. playing euchre
76. winning euchre
77. fresh squeezed Florida orange juice... (ah, my childhood memories :))
78. Florida
79. flying in an airplane (i could go on for hours about how beautiful flying through the mountains was this summer.... wow :))
80. British Columbia :)
81. Otto, Livia and Attila and all the people in the Ukraine
82. my roomie
83. talking to myself (hey, it's a great way to study ppl... :))
84. my missions classes (my favourite classes at RUC so far)
85. the smell of clean laundry (especially if it's been hanging outside to dry...)
86. snuggling with friends during a movie
87. baby animals
88. animals in general
89. a good cry (sometimes a good cry is needed to get out all those emotions building up inside...)
90. knowing that this world isn't the end
91. christmas
92. June 16th, 1982 (what a great day... :))
93. June 16th every year...
93. smirnoff ice
94. baileys and hot chocolate
95. flowers
96. bright colours
97. the sound of birds chirping in the morning... :)
98. the sound of crickets at night
99. stopping my list at 99 instead of 100... :)

Those were the days

Decisions, decisions, decisions. I hate making decisions. I've always been one of those people who hates making up my mind. For example, my favourite coulour? i don't really have one. Yes, i have a list of 'favourites' (note the plural), but to pick one above them all? Yikes. Or picking my favourite season of the year? I like them all really... I like summer because it means no school and a chance to go camping (one of my all time favourite pastimes); and not to mention the sun, the water, the boys with no shirts on (haha... just couldn't resist :)), the late night chats with friends while staring at the stars... ah...good times. However, i love winter too because it means snow, christmas, fireplaces, toboganning, ice-skating, and snowball fights. And then of course there is Fall; the changing colours of the leaves, the smell of winter approaching, the 'excitement' of a new school year (although that loses its appeal rather quickly...), the hikes through the trails and hearing the leaves 'crinkle' underneath... And then spring, well, don't get me started. i mean, who doesn't like spring?? (It helps too that my birthday arrives at the end of the spring season... :)). Anyway, that was a rather long tangent, but my point is clear, i SUCK at decision making. So you can imagine my difficulty here as i try and make some major decisions as to what i am to do next year. That is, i've been offered a 'place' to live with a few of my friends next year. Now, while this might not seem like a problem at all, my dilemna is this... PAY to live with 4 girls i love dearly or live rent FREE at home? You see, i DO live only about 7 minutes (5 if you speed) away from the Redeemer campus, i have access to a car, free laundry, free rent, and a lovely basement apartment which i share with my cousin (ie. Michelle). To be completely honest... i've got it good. However, the opportunity to live with my friends next year is quite appealing as well. While i love my home, it would be great to get away for once as well (the only other time i've lived 'away' from home was in first year). It would be fun times for sure to live with my friends and i know that if i don't live with them i'll be constantly wondering what i could be missing 'over there'. So, here i've been sitting.. and wondering.. and thinking.. and praying.. and still no answers. I have, however, drawn up a list of the pros and cons of both:

pros to living at home:
- use of a car
- free rent
- free laundry
- my parents don't bother me about coming home at the wee hours of the night
- did i mention it's FREE?

cons to living at home:
- my friends don't live here
- i've lived here at this house for the last 9 years or so.. (minus 1st year)

pros to living w/ my friends:
- my friends are there :)
- it would be a new experience
- i would have to 'fend' for myself (i consider this a positive thing)
- it's on the bus route
- it's pretty cheap rent

cons to living w/ friends:
- as cheap as the rent is, i don't have the money as it all goes to tuition. I'd have to borrow from my parents, which could be a problem. Either that or open a student line of credit...
- no use of the car
- extra costs such as utilities, groceries, etc. - they tend to add up
- i probably wouldn't get as much work done... :) (being completely honest and all).

So that's my dilemna... what to do? *sigh*... sometimes i wish i was still a little girl when i didn't have to worry about making such decisions but could simply tell people, "i don't know, just one minute while i ask my mommy and daddy". Yup.. those were the days...

A little bit of wisdom from Calvin and Hobbes

Calvin and Hobbes... you gotta love 'em.

welcome to my little bro to the blogging world.. :)

Wait!

Jenn read this last year for one of our devos...

Wait - by Ruby Miller

Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried.
Patiently, lovingly, my Lord replied.
I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate;
And the Master so gently said, "My child, you must wait."

"Wait? You said wait?" my indignant reply.
Lord, I need answers. I need to know why.
Is Your hand shortened or have You not heard?
By faith I have asked, and I'm claiming Your Word.

My future and all to which I can relate,
Hangs in the balance, and You tell me, "Wait."
I'm needing a "yes," or a "maybe" sign,
Or even a "no" to which I can resign.

And Lord, You promised that if we believe
We need but to ask and we shall receive.
And Lord, I've been asking, and this is my cry,
I'm weary of asking, I need a reply.

Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate
As my Master replied once again, "You must wait."
So I slumped in my chair, defeated and taught,
And grumbled to God, "So, I'm waiting for what?

He seemed then to kneel, and His eyes wept with mine,
And He tenderly said, "I could give you a sign.
I could shake the heavens and darken the sun;
I could raise the dead, cause the mountains to run.

All you seek I could give, and pleased you would be,
You would have what you want, but you wouldn't know Me.
You'd not know the depths of My love for each saint;
You'd not know the power I give to the faint.

You'd not learn to see through the clouds of despair;
You'd not learn to trust just by knowing I'm there.
You'd not know the joy of resting in Me
When darkness and silence were all you could see.

You'd never experience that fullness of love
As the peace of My Spirit descends like a dove.
You'd know that I give and I save, for a start
But you'd not know the depth of the beat of My heart.

The glow of My comfort late in the night,
The faith that I give when you walk without sight,
The depth that's beyond getting just what you asked
Of an infinite God who makes what you have last.

And you'd never know, should your pain quickly flee,
What it means that My grace is sufficient for thee.
Yes, your dreams for that loved one overnight may come true,
But, oh the loss if I lost what I'm doing in you.

So, be silent, My child, and in time you will see
That the greatest of gifts is to get to know Me.
And though oft may My answers seem terribly late,
My most precious of all is still, "Wait."

Our Father's Love Letter

This is pretty neat. Check it out:

www.FathersLoveLetter.com

You can download a printable version of the letter at this site as well as watch the video. Just follow the links.

COMING SOON

Coming Soon: I FINALLY have some of my pictures uploaded from the Urkaine/Hungary missions trip this summer . The link will be up shortly (and by shortly i mean when i find the time, which could actually be awhile).

And to my fellow Redeemerites, I hope you're all having awesome 'reading' breaks wherever you are!

An ode to my friends

So today i had the lovely surprise of finding two roses in my 'mailbox' as well as a bag of lindors. Needless to say, it made me quite happy and it inspired me to write this poem. So here goes... ahem...

Ode to my friends:

So I'm writing this poem simply to say
thank-you to those friends who made my day.
Your roses and chocolates caused me smile,
your generous kindess will be remembered awhile.

but its more than roses and chocolates and such,
for its truly your friendship that i cherish so much.
For God has blessed me with friends that are true,
so on that note, thank-you!!

No, i am not an English major (shocking, i know). I make no claims of that being a good poem, but it had to be written :). My hopes of becoming a budding poet came to a crashing halt by about grade 3 when suddenly we were informed that a poem didn't need to rhyme to be considered poetry. 'What? not rhyme?' From there my hopes for a future in writing fell apart... tragic, wouldn't you say?

All this talk of poetry reminded me of some poetry i found from a 'friend' of mine from last year...

Roses are Red,
Violets are Blue,
I kissed a cow,
and thought of you.

nice eh? hm.. my advice boys, don't be sticking this on your valentines.

But get this, there's more:

Roses are Red,
Violets are Green,
I thought of you,
and I blew my spleen.

Wow. touching, wouldn't you say?

So that's the extent of the poetry. Although, as a side note, my 'friend' did redeem themselves later by writing a nicer poem later, but maybe i'll share that another day...

MY FRIEND, THE COMPUTER??

Tonight was my official ‘no homework’ night. Now I realize in saying this that I lay at risk of receiving hate letters and threats by those of you still immersed in midterms and the like, but please, allow me to linger in my joy for just this one night. I did, after all, work hard to deserve it (or so I feel). But yes, I, Rachel Breimer, have done no homework tonight… no papers, no reading, no studying… nada. And how nice it does feel. And yet I can’t help but think… now what?? What is one to do when they aren’t scrambling about trying to cram as much information into their brains for the next upcoming test, or trying to find the page for that quotation that you took from one of the 10 books you used in your essay? What is one to do with themselves? T.V? hm... nope… not much good on there these days. Talk to friends? Negative on that one too… most of them are still busy studying for a last test or midterm before reading break. Sleep? No, not yet. Do something on the computer? Hm… see, in here lies my problem. Since when did I become a ‘computer junky’? I find that when I ‘don’t have anything to do’ I almost unconsciously look to the computer to provide me with entertainment I am lacking, to overcome my boredom, and to keep me occupied. But lately I have been wondering.. is that right?? Should I be spending so much time with a machine?? A non-relational and non-responsive object which lacks interpersonal communication, causes me to become passive and physically inactive, and ends up limiting my already limited imagination by providing me with a host of visual imagery and things to do so that I don’t have to ‘think’ for myself or find something better to do? I always lament at the fact that sometimes I feel I am losing what social skills I once thought to posess, and I have to wonder if this has anything to do with my new found ‘relationship’ with the computer (it could also be due to my lack of sleep :), but for the sake of my argument, we’ll blame the computer). Suddenly, msn becomes the place for ‘deep conversations’ and e-mail becomes the way to communicate with friends. Now, while msn and e-mail are not bad, per say, they can be decieving. One can believe that they truly *know* someone through all the talks they have on msn, and yet once one gets into the ‘real world’ conversation comes to sliding halt. Why? Because msn provides a different context for relationships and writing your thoughts can be far different than speaking and relating on a day-to-day basis. Likewise, while e-mail is not bad, it can be dangerous when it is the mode by which you tell others your feelings without discussing them out-loud with the person. I must admit by experience that I have been one to fall prey to such a thing. But, also based on experience, I must admit that once you end up talking to a person about such things that you wrote in your e-mail, the experience is far different. Yes, often it makes us more vulnerable, but it also creates a stronger bond, a bond which, I believe, is not shared via e-mail or computer generated conversations. No, there is much to be said for person to person contact. Now, I realize that I am slightly contradicting myself here as I sit here at the computer typing all this out to you (and who “you” are I don’t even know-another problem with the computer, or ‘blogging’ world - for one cannot be sure who really reads these things), so, that being said, I think I will go now… the possibilities after all really are endless… I could go on a walk, read (non-school texts that is!), spend time with God (ah.. now there’s something we should do more often in our ‘spare’ time), do random acts of kindness, pray… wow… and why do I waste my time on here?? *sigh* such is the question of the day…

Today's Random Ramblings by Rachel

So I found out today that I can be accused of the crime of TELECRASTINATION (tel e kras tin ay' shun), that is, the act of always letting the phone ring at least twice before you pick it up, even when you're only six inches away. Yes, I admit, I RARELY pick up the phone on the first ring. To justify myself though, I must admit that often times I want be sure that if I pick it up it will be worth the effort. That is, sometimes people realize they have dialed the wrong number after the first ring. Or, perhaps it actually is someone I know who is calling to ask me a question and in the moment that the first ring goes through they realize they know the answer already and hang up (I admit to having done this before). So frankly, I am trying to be kind to them and save them the needless embarrassment of having to explain themselves and create an awkward situation for both of us. How nice of me, eh?
*sigh*… ok, ok, I confess…to be perfectly honest it probably has more to do with the fact that I am just plain lazy and I figure… hey, maybe if I don’t pick it up on the first ring, someone else will get it :)! Whew… I feel much better now…

ps. The word telecrastination is not truly a real word, but a word made up by peope who really have nothing better to do but to think up non-existing words. Kudos to them.

Pps. Another word that doesn’t exist, but perhaps should (also compliments of those same people as above):

BURGACIDE (burg' uh side) -- n. When a hamburger can't take any more torture and hurls itself through the grill into the coals.

IN HIS TIME

Once again i'd like to share with you someone else's insight :). You see, i have little profundity to share, so i choose to share other's thoughts instead :). In all seriousness though, this quote has been a favourite of mine for quite some time ever since last year when a friend sent it to me during a tough time. I had actually forgotten about it for awhile until one day i thought about it, but i couldn't find out where it was from. I had to laugh at God's sense of humour and timing when that night, in my devotional, the passage happened to be (of course) the quote i was looking for. So, after all that, here it is:

"God doesn't tell time as we do.... He does remarkable things regardless of our time of day.... He ignores our deadlines and removes our crutches. He will leave our particular Red Sea absolutely closed, without an opening, without a sign, until He has finished teaching us the lessons we need to learn. Once that's accomplished, He has no trouble parting the waters and sending us through"
-- Charles Swindoll

WHO AM I?

The following is compliments of http://www.spiritualtrails.com/bonhoeffer_quote.htm.
This poem was written by Dietrich Bonhoeffer while in a Nazi prison.
His words really impacted me in light of a conversation i had with a friend awhile back, so i thought i'd share them with you. Especially take note of the last two lines... they are what really make the poem for me.

Who am I? They often tell me
I would step from my cell's confinement
calmly, cheerfully, firmly,
like a country squire from his country house.

Who am I? They often tell me
I would talk to my warders
freely and friendly and clearly,
as though it were mine to command.

Who am I? They also tell me
I would bear the days of misfortune
equably, smilingly, proudly,
like one accustomed to win.

Am I then really all that which other men tell of?
Or am I only what I know of myself,
restless and longing and sick, like a bird in a cage,
struggling for breath, as though hands were compressing my throat,
yearning for colors, for flowers, for the voices of birds,
thirsting for words of kindness, for neighborliness,
trembling with anger at despotisms and petty humiliation,
tossing in expectation of great events,
powerlessly trembling for friends at an infinite distance,
weary and empty at praying, at thinking, at making,
faint, and ready to say farewell to it all?

Who am I? This or the other?
Am I one person today, and tomorrow another?
Am I both at once? A hypocrite before others,
and before myself a contemptibly woebegone weakling?
Or is something within me still like a beaten army,
fleeing in disorder from victory already achieved?

Who am I? They mock me, these lonely questions of mine.
Whoever I am, thou knowest, O God, I am thine.


Letters and Papers From Prison, pp. 347-48