MY FRIEND, THE COMPUTER??

Tonight was my official ‘no homework’ night. Now I realize in saying this that I lay at risk of receiving hate letters and threats by those of you still immersed in midterms and the like, but please, allow me to linger in my joy for just this one night. I did, after all, work hard to deserve it (or so I feel). But yes, I, Rachel Breimer, have done no homework tonight… no papers, no reading, no studying… nada. And how nice it does feel. And yet I can’t help but think… now what?? What is one to do when they aren’t scrambling about trying to cram as much information into their brains for the next upcoming test, or trying to find the page for that quotation that you took from one of the 10 books you used in your essay? What is one to do with themselves? T.V? hm... nope… not much good on there these days. Talk to friends? Negative on that one too… most of them are still busy studying for a last test or midterm before reading break. Sleep? No, not yet. Do something on the computer? Hm… see, in here lies my problem. Since when did I become a ‘computer junky’? I find that when I ‘don’t have anything to do’ I almost unconsciously look to the computer to provide me with entertainment I am lacking, to overcome my boredom, and to keep me occupied. But lately I have been wondering.. is that right?? Should I be spending so much time with a machine?? A non-relational and non-responsive object which lacks interpersonal communication, causes me to become passive and physically inactive, and ends up limiting my already limited imagination by providing me with a host of visual imagery and things to do so that I don’t have to ‘think’ for myself or find something better to do? I always lament at the fact that sometimes I feel I am losing what social skills I once thought to posess, and I have to wonder if this has anything to do with my new found ‘relationship’ with the computer (it could also be due to my lack of sleep :), but for the sake of my argument, we’ll blame the computer). Suddenly, msn becomes the place for ‘deep conversations’ and e-mail becomes the way to communicate with friends. Now, while msn and e-mail are not bad, per say, they can be decieving. One can believe that they truly *know* someone through all the talks they have on msn, and yet once one gets into the ‘real world’ conversation comes to sliding halt. Why? Because msn provides a different context for relationships and writing your thoughts can be far different than speaking and relating on a day-to-day basis. Likewise, while e-mail is not bad, it can be dangerous when it is the mode by which you tell others your feelings without discussing them out-loud with the person. I must admit by experience that I have been one to fall prey to such a thing. But, also based on experience, I must admit that once you end up talking to a person about such things that you wrote in your e-mail, the experience is far different. Yes, often it makes us more vulnerable, but it also creates a stronger bond, a bond which, I believe, is not shared via e-mail or computer generated conversations. No, there is much to be said for person to person contact. Now, I realize that I am slightly contradicting myself here as I sit here at the computer typing all this out to you (and who “you” are I don’t even know-another problem with the computer, or ‘blogging’ world - for one cannot be sure who really reads these things), so, that being said, I think I will go now… the possibilities after all really are endless… I could go on a walk, read (non-school texts that is!), spend time with God (ah.. now there’s something we should do more often in our ‘spare’ time), do random acts of kindness, pray… wow… and why do I waste my time on here?? *sigh* such is the question of the day…