A Credo for Support

Below is a credo that Christian Horizons shows during a number of its training programs as it reflects its model for support. It was created by a number of people who were saddened and horrified by the Tracy Latimer case (her father poisoned her with carbon monoxide in the belief that death was better than any life she could ever have). I found it quite powerful, and it really did affect the way that I support and thought about the people that I support. Moreover, CH is highly influenced by the thoughts and writings of Jean Vanier, the founder of L'Arche, another organization for those with mental disabilities that focuses on seeing all people as brothers and sisters, each with our own strengths and limitations. A number of his sayings have really impacted me and caused me to think differently not only about the individuals i "support", but about myself. Here are a few of my favourite quotes by Jean Vanier:

"We are all broken people, but beautiful people. We are all people with hearts, that are wounded, hoping for peace; frightened of love -- hearts that can grow. It is our common humanity."

"In living with people with disabilities we learn about our own disabilities."

"The mission of a community is to give life to others, that is to say, to transmit new hope and new meaning to them. Mission is revealing to others their fundamental beauty, value and importance in the universe, their capacity to love, to grow and to do beautiful things and to meet God.... To give life to people is to reveal to them that they are loved just as they are by God, with the mixture of good and evil, light and darkness that is in them; that the stone in front of their tomb in which all the dirt of their lives has been hidden can be rolled away. They are forgiven; they can live in freedom. "

"Jung said: ``I admire you Christians -- when you see someone hungry and thirsty you see Jesus. I find that great, but I what don't understand is why you don't see Jesus in your own brokenness. Why are you hiding in your own poverty -- see what you are hungry and thirsty for; that you are sick and in the prison of your own fears and your own projects. There is a stranger inside of you -- why can't you see that God is present in *you*. '' Then I began to see the common humanity in myself -- with the brokenness and with the gifts within me; to be human is to open myself up to others, not to enclose myself in my projects, ideas, distractions but to open --- but I have to see where the frightedness about people is coming from -- and also the Power to give life to others -- and then to become human, to grow human beings, to build a world in which we have hope and don't hide behind our own power. To discover the capacity in each one of to build community, to build hope."

I have really been hit hard with what it truly means to be 'handicapped.' At a recent training i went to, one of the speakers said to us that while we label certain people as 'handicapped', in truth "we are all handicapped before God." How powerful and humbling is that! Yes, there are some of us who have mental disabilities which might limit what we might call a 'normal' contribution to society, and yet, we all have limitations when it comes to being like Christ! As i work along side some of the individuals i support i have learned just as much from them as i hope they have learned from me! I have learned what it truly means to have patience, and what it really means to be 'rejected' by men and still respond in love and kindness. I have learned about being thankful for the 'simple' joys and blessings in life that i often take so easily for granted. It is truly humbling! One thing that really frustrates me though is how often i hear people say "You must be really special to work at a place like that, I could never do that." True, it is not always EASY working with some of the individuals and situations i deal with, but what job is really easy? But am i really SPECIAL to be working with individuals who in God's eyes are JUST like me? Perhaps i have been given certain gifts that enable me to work in this particular field, yes, i can accept that. But it is no different than a person who has been given the mind for business or the person who excels at science. No one says "oh, you must be really special to be able to do lab experiments on rats" or "you must be really special to be able to answer phones and punch numbers into computers." We have all been given our own 'special' gifts and abilities and being in this field does not make me any more 'special' than the rest. I encourage anyone who thinks this to really re-evaluate your thoughts/opinions about those in our community with mental disabilities, because they truly are amazing individuals, each with their own ways of contributing to the Kingdom, though sometimes it is hard for us, with our human eyes, to determine what that is. It is my prayer though that we see each and every person, including ourselves, through the eyes of Christ! I pray that we all might have the humility to recognize in ourselves our own 'handicaps' and that that might give us more grace in dealing with others with different 'handicaps' then our own.

A CREDO FOR SUPPORT

Do Not see my disability as the problem. Recognize that my disability is an attribute.

Do Not see my disability as a deficit. It is you who see me as deviant and helpless.

Do Not try to fix me because I am not broken. Support me.

I can make my contribution to the community in my way.

Do Not see me as your client. I am your fellow citizen.

See me as your neighbor. Remember, none of us can be self-sufficient.

Do Not try to modify my behavior. Be still & listen.

What you define as inappropriate may be my attempt to communicate with you in the only way I can.

Do Not try to change me; you have no right. Help me learn what I want to know.

Do Not hide your uncertainty behind “professional” distance.

Be a person who listens, and does not take my struggle away from me by trying to

make it all better.

Do Not use theories and strategies on me.

Be with me. And when we struggle with each other, let that give rise to self-reflection.

Do Not try to control me. I have a right to my power as a person.

What you call non-compliance or manipulation may actually be the only way I can

exert some control over my life

Do Not teach me to be obedient, submissive, and polite.

I need to feel entitled to say No if I am to protect myself.

Do Not be charitable towards me. The last thing the world needs is another Jerry Lewis.

Be my ally against those who exploit me for their own gratification.

Do Not try to be my friend. I deserve more than that. Get to know me. We may become friends.

Do Not help me, even if it does make you feel good.

Ask me if I need your help. Let me show you how you can best assist me.

Do Not admire me. A desire to live a full life does not warrant adoration.

Respect me, for respect presumes equity.

Do Not tell, correct, and lead. Listen, Support, and Follow.

Do Not work on me.

Work with me.